In The Presence of Absence

Assalamualaikum and hey there.

It has been more than a year since I posted something here, and I think it's finally time for me to write up a thing or two. It feels right, and so I must. The reason being, is that since I began being active on Twitter, I deem that this platform as useless. I had microblogging, why should I write up a few hundred words, and waste my time here, right?

Well, I got sick of it. Lately, I haven't been feeling like myself. I don't know (or rather, didn't know) what it was, until it hit me. I was just tired of not being in the real world. I, like many others was that person that cannot go 5 minutes without checking my phone for whatsapp, twitter, facebook or just pretty much anything. My brain was programmed that way, to be on the net.

This is 2011 Ali. The one that was about to get hook up on twitter. SPM Ali actually. He was ok, A loner, didn't really know what the world has to offer him. He didn't have that many of what you call friends. He's alright, a highschool normies. He wasn't really into video games, sure S4 league and OSU!, for like, an hour a month? He didn't use a smartphone, so he wasn't into social media that much. Childish, simple, and just went with the flow.

Then Ali became a little more mature, he got hooked up to social media as he is now has in his possession, an iPhone 4 (yes, I am an Apple user, used to, still am, will always be). He found out that he can make friends on this platform. He started following accounts after accounts, and Ali was also away from home. Sepang used to feel so far away from Subang Jaya compare to now to be honest. Owh yeah, he started playing DOTA2. Probably the most important point here, maybe.

And here, ladies and gentlemen, is where it all started. The period where I finally can say, Ali, that is me, finally became addicted to social media. If you scroll back, I think this was the time I suddenly and rarely post anything to this blog. I was recruited to be part of this organization on twitter, which made me constantly having to be on my phone. I was happy, finally I was in the place where I thought I wanted to be. Mind you, this was during my diploma days.

Everyday, I began to actually lose sight on what is real, and what is merely just on the internet. Early in the morning, check my phone, in class, phone, lunch, on the phone, before sleep, phone. It made me feel as if my life IS my phone. Twitter and Whatsapp occupied 50% of my life, and that is.... sad.

When did I realised this? Probably after I started my internship early in January of 2015. I felt that I had not enough time to check my phone, as I was working, but meh, probably just nothing. The thought of deactivating all of my social media accounts did crossed my mind, but it was just too hard for me, so I eventually did came back to them.

Until early of 2016. When I started my degree life. I was culture shocked. It was a whole new experience for me. The phase I'm jumping to is a complete turn around from my diploma life. I had assignments after assignments, homeworks after projects, and so much more. It forced me to actually ditched my phone for a while. I became stressed. I can't even have a proper conversation with my girlfriend over whatsapp without having that long pauses, and it made me feel guilty.

But then again, it is kinda refreshing. After 6 months of a hectic sem, I realised, hey, this is pretty good actually. I did more work, I enjoyed the real life, and I appreciate my surrounding more that I do compared to the past 5 years. At one point, I actually began avoiding my phone, even if I do have free time. I began hating the fact that in this world we live in, we communicate more by typing words behind a small screen rather than having a face to face talk.

This, is what I told her. I have come to realised, that social media is just a want, not a need. I need to distance myself, not like cut it all off, but just less of it. I want to enjoy myself. I want to be a part of this real world, not on the alternate life. I want my life to be involving the soul that I have been given with. With that, hey there world, Ali's back.

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